Yes,women fib, but only about things that matter

SANDRA PARSONS: Yes, women fib - but only about things that matter | Mail Online:
How can you tell if a man is lying? If he's talking.
So goes the old joke - and it turns out there's more than a grain of truth in it, as a study by the Science Museum has revealed that men are far more likely to tell lies than women.
In my experience, most men can lie as easily as breathing.

Women, on the other hand, hate to fib and are forever trying to justify the lie if they do manage to screw up their courage to tell one in the first place.
I've lost count of the men I've seen in offices over the years who can tell the most outrageous lies without so much as blinking.
I'd love to be able to say they get found out in the end, but the brutal reality is that most of the time they get away with it.
Men, you see, lie out of laziness. If they calculate that telling the truth will require a long conversation or an argument, they will opt for a fib.
They want a quiet life, with as few complications as possible.
Women, however, lie mostly out of fear. We will lie to protect someone else's feelings, because we are afraid that telling the truth will be too painful.
We really would rather hurt ourselves than hurt others.

This can lead, ultimately, to women telling lies on a truly massive scale.
Take the woman who walks down the aisle knowing she doesn't really want to be marrying the man waiting for her at the altar.
I know of two women who did this, and each confessed afterwards that they believed it was better to sentence themselves to a lifetime of misery than endure the grief of disappointed parents and jilted grooms.
When it comes to the big stuff, men tend to be more straightforward.
They will either go for broke and just keep on lying until the bitter end - think Tiger Woods or Tony Blair - or they won't lie at all.
Most men wouldn't dream of going through with a wedding just to avoid hurt feelings, and they're braver and better at dealing with confrontation - but only when there's no alternative.
So while their lies are usually small scale they are nonetheless audacious - because they have no guilt and no fear.
Women, conversely, spend endless hours talking to each other in a bid to divine the true meaning of even the most trivial event.
He hasn't called: does that mean he hates me, or that he's playing it cool? He gave me a funny look: does that mean I've offended him, or was he just in a bad mood?
Given the finding that men lie roughly three times a day and women twice, perhaps the key thing is to be able to recognise when we're being lied to.
The Science Museum research revealed the top ten fibs told by both sexes. In the interests of transparency, here's my guide to what they really mean:

MEN:
1. I didn't have that much to drink.
Well, not compared with what I used to drink before I met you.
2. Nothing's wrong, I'm fine.
At least I would be if you would just stop trying to make me have a conversation.
3. I had no signal.
I turned the phone off because I got chatting to a really pretty girl.
4. It wasn't that expensive.
Less than your ludicrous handbag, anyway.
5. I'm on my way.
I will be, after this drink with the boys.
6. I'm stuck in traffic.
I'm out with the boys.
7. No, your bum doesn't look big in that.
It's the size of China - I don't really mind, but you won't believe me.
8. Sorry, I missed your call.
I was out with the boys.
9. You've lost weight.
Has that got you in the mood?
10. It's what I've always wanted.
Can we go to bed now?

"WOMEN:

1. Nothing's wrong, I'm fine.

You've done something so incredibly selfish that I can't bring myself to speak. I can't believe you ever loved me at all or what I ever saw in you. I must have been stark staring mad.

2. I don't know where it is, I haven't touched it.

It's in the bin - and not before time.

3. It wasn't that expensive.

Not compared with that hideous 50-inch plasma TV you bought, anyway.

4. I didn't have that much to drink.

Let's face it, I had a lot less than you.

5. I've got a headache.

I still think you're selfish and I'm certainly not going to sleep with you.

6. It was in the sale.

Well, it was ON sale.

7. I'm on my way.

I will be once I've sorted out what dress to wear. Or maybe the skirt?

8. Oh, I've had this ages.

Well, since last week.

9. No, I didn't throw it away.

Oh yes I did - and I'll throw the next one away too.

10. It's what I've always wanted

Please, please tell me you kept the receipt."